Dear Uncle Eungho...

"Dear Uncle Eungho,

I complained about the way my SAT Prep teacher grades our homework and tests. Somehow, the teacher found out it was me who complained and she treats me very coolly and angrily. What can I do to get in her good graces again—without “sucking up to her” or being a “brown-noser”?"

--Sad in Selimiye

Dear Sad,

The fact that your SAT Prep teacher's grading annoys you is very unfortunate. It's never nice to talk badly about someone that's really close to you, especially if they can fail you for a class. However, since you need to get back in her good graces, I advise you to use two things: First, a simple apology, and second, showing that you are sorry through your actions.

The things that appeal to people, especially teachers, are hardworking students. I advise you to, instead of complaining about the way she grades, change yourself. Make yourself an excellent student, be active in class discussions, and improve on your work, which will lead eventually lead your teacher to think better of you.

Sincerely,

Uncle Eungho

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" Dear uncle Eungho,

I have a lot of homework every night. At the same time, I want to spend time with my friends, participate in extra-curricular activities, and use Facebook. If I don’t get on Facebook every night, I feel left out. At the same time, I think I’m wasting a lot of time and it is one way I could make better use of my time. What do you suggest?"

-- Lonely in Libadiye

Dear Lonely,

Time management is never easy. It's just one of those things that we have to do. I suggest that you not make Facebook your priority. Although it may be nice to use Facebook, it can very easily become annoying. It's hard to stop once you start, and can consume a huge part of your day. So the best thing to do, is set a limit. TIme yourself, and see how much you spend of Facebook. Then you can set a limit, spending only the amount of time necessary to use Facebook.

Another thing to consider is dropping your extra-curricular activities, or split them up, so that you can use your time wisely. You need to remember that you don't have to do ALL the extra-curricular activities; you have a choice.

Sincerely,

Uncle Eungho

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"Dear Uncle Eungho,

I recently moved to Turkey. I feel isolated because there are few American families here, and I do not speak Turkish. I home-school my kids, so we don’t have many opportunities to meet other foreigners. It has been five months, and I still can't get over the culture shock. I spend my days cooped up with my kids, unable to do the simplest things. I can't seem to live up to my husband's expectations, and he has become quite critical. This is hurting our marriage. Please help me before I go crazy.”

— Agonizing in Ankara

Dear Agonizing,

I’m sorry that you’re feeling so stressed out. It’s never easy to move, especially into a different culture, where you get culture shock, and can’t speak the language well either. Don’t fret though, there are many ways to solve this.

First, you could speek to your husband about this. You need to remember that he is there to support you. Talk to him, especially think about sending kids to school, instead of homeschooling them (there’s an international school in Ankara called Oasis).

Take a few days off to relax. You probably feel overwhelmed because you need to do the housework and teach the kids. Go relax. A hotel is probably a good idea, just to have someone else cook for you for a day, clean for you. You can even hire a maid to help you around the house.

And finally, find people you can relate to. Being Ankara, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of international people, from the school, from parent groups, or even from church. Get to know them, and let them help you out, especially while you adjust to Turkey.

Sincerely,

Uncle Eungho